A friend told me that "a woman's desperation is stronger than perfume."

Here's the offer I am giving to my lawyer to present to the wife's lawyer. Let the middlemen thrive.

She:
Keeps dining room and living room furniture, armoire, kitchen furniture. Assumes half the original credit card debt($7,000, most of the $15,000 was hers). Sells $3,000 Yurman ring boyfriend gave her while we were married and give me half. Keeps laptop boyfriend gave her while we were married, but returns my laptop, which she took and hid. Or replace my laptop with one of equal value ($1,800). Keeps half of the 200 shares of SPC stock I gave her, but returns the other half. Keeps Cam-corder. Receives 1/12 of value of condominium’s appraised value minus my downpayment and mortgage still due. (Her name has been on the deed for 1/12 of my ownership. At no time has she paid the mortgage or assessments). Signs an agreement that should the IRS audit her tax records for SCEI (her incorporated business) that include the dates we were married that she will pay all court costs as well as penalties, if there is a hostile ruling. Gives half or a reasonable percentage of all income for the next 5 years to me as compensation for support of her business and artistic ventures.

I keep entertainment console (she must pay to have it returned). Assume half the original credit card debt ($7,000) Keep half of sale of Yurman ring. Get laptop returned or replaced. Get paid for hard drive removed from my desktop computer, which I had to replace. Get my 10 speed Motebecane bike returned or replaced. Receive 100 shares of SPC stock I gave her. Receive my 35mm camera that my Uncle Bill gave me. Get my bottle of 1982 Marilyn Merlot back. Pay her 1/12 of value of condominium’s appraised value minus my downpayment and mortgage still due. (Her name has been on the deed for 1/12 of my ownership. At no time has she paid the mortgage or assessments).