Two years ago, I was still in the painful process of obtaining a legal divorce, of dealing with lawyers and courts and major expense. I had gotten my condo back, but hadn't moved back in yet. I was trying to start my life again, but was still entangled with the financial and emotional burden created by a bad marriage, and bad decisions I had made. Now, two years later I can proclaim that there is life after divorce. But it really does require letting go of so much of your history with that person you made your vows with. You learn to make vows with yourself and with those who do love and respect you. Letting go of the emotional baggage is most difficult.

My odyssey began when I left my abusive wife, when I literally walked away from the insanity she created in our home. I was determined to move forward, to get unstuck in that bad place, which our relationship had been, and only solidified by our marriage. Yet I had hung onto the relationship through years of abuse and dysfunction only to return to it again and again. I'm not blaming her. I had free will, although in hindsight it feels like I was under a spell. My fears, my insecurity, my denial.