Had I remained married, Thursday, April 13 would have been my 10 year anniversary. The night before, I dreamt of her and my old pooch. It's befitting that they both were in the same dream, because some of my happiest days were long before we got married, when we lived in a 3rd floor apartment. I would come home from a day of work, having taken public transportation, and there I'd be walking down the block with my girl friend and dog waiting on the steps in front of our building. Both would greet me with love and warmth. Things changed. Drastically. So, now 5 1/2 years after I left her abuse and cruelty, 4 years after the actual divorce was decreed in a court of law, I am recovered enough to have seen her in a dream and awoke without it having felt like a nightmare. I still do not want to see her or talk to her, because it would serve no purpose. We cannot recapture the past. And the most recent past with her was a nightmare.