Whether you initiated it or your former mate ended the relationship, or it was a mutual agreement terminating the connection, the marriage is over. If you need to play the blame game, do it and let go of it for awhile, but don't get stuck on blame. It keeps you stuck in the past. It does not matter. That chapter of your life has ended. If you need to grieve, do so, but don't hang onto something that either was a falsehood or an illusion, or not quite what you thought it was. Even if you are beginning to realize or admit that it really was worse than you allowed yourself to believe it was, the reality is that it is over. So now see it for what it was and start rebuilding your life. You can regain your sanity and reclaim your life, which you must know is yours to live, to enjoy, to feel and experience to its fullest. You did not start the journey with that other person, so now move on and live your life and realize some of your other dreams.